You Are Reading: ANN: “Ann’s Time To Shine” | Ep 6, Season 1
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Disclaimer: The article below may contain "Pidgin English" and is translated in ()
Ann wasn’t quite happy with herself. She was embarrassed, ashamed, and disappointed, unsure of what was going on in Daddy Emmanuel’s mind and how he had interpreted the whole scene.
As she boarded the taxi that evening, she sensed conviction well up in her heart. She sensed something was wrong somewhere but she couldn’t seem to be able to put a finger on it.
“It can’t be about what happened a while ago na Holy Spirit! That can happen to anyone”
Maybe Ann was indeed ignorant about the current state of her heart. Or maybe she was just too afraid to admit to herself how far she had begun drifting from The Way.
She lets out a sigh of confusion.
“Okay, Lord” she continued. “Maybe I should discontinue the teachings I intended giving.”
She sighs again.
“Yeah, I should.”
It was becoming obvious to her that her motives were out of place.
Seated by the window in the taxi, she catches her reflection on the transparent glass. She leans her head on it like she was approaching a second person seated in the taxi.
She could barely recognize herself or the person she was becoming. How could she so blatantly lie to Daddy Emmanuel about hearing from God in a surreal spiritual experience? She never lied before.
Then, she remembered…
“Sister Verynyuy!” she says, rubbing her eyes with her right palm. “I should really apologize to her.”
Ann says this, reaching for her android phone in her handbag. Once she gets a hold of it, she starts scrolling through her contacts looking for Verynyuy’s phone number.
At this point, the devil decides to take her down memory lane. In a split second, her mind races back to a season of her childhood she had long struggled to tuck away.
Many years ago
It’s the Christmas season and festivities are fully on. This small church of less than a hundred people in the suburbs of Yaoundé is not left out.
In the background you can hear the choir:
“And He will live forever and ever.”
Many children are running around in Jewish day costumes. That’s the drama team preparing for the nativity play.
It was required of all adolescents to join at least one department, especially in this season. In addition to the benefits of service in Church, they needed all the help they could get to make Christmas Eve successful.
Ann and her family had just joined this assembly. She was excited and eager.
With full enthusiasm, she decides to join the drama tea. This is following a suggestion from the choir leader. And the dance leader too!
In one drama rehearsal session, thirteen-year-old Ann stands perplexed as she wonders why no role has been assigned to her. All the other children are running around excited about their newly assigned roles.
Suddenly, she hears behind her a sharp female voice. The sound is someone laughing at her with all their might.
“Why are you laughing?” Ann asks her.
“Sorry, I couldn’t help it.” She replies still laughing “You are standing there like an orphan. I’m sure you are wondering why no role has been assigned to you.”
“It’s just a mistake. I’ll ask aunty Esther. She just forgot.”
“Forgot, abi ?”
“Yes. She just forgot”
” Weh! How can you be so naive? Let me just tell you now and spare you further embarrassment.”
” No one wants to tell you. But since I’m such a good friend, let me.” She clears her throat before continuing. “You are terrible at acting.
That might even be an overstatement. In fact, you are the worst actress I have ever seen since I was born again. My eyes hurt from watching you act. It’s pitiful.”
Ann’s heartbeat accelerates. She has a “her falling into stomach” sensation. She just stares stoically at the person giving her this revelation.
“Not only in acting dear; in dancing and singing too. I didn’t know God would create a human beings and give them no talent at all.
Haven’t you wondered why the choir and dance leaders insisted that you join the drama team? They were hoping you’d make a good comedian with your sheer lack of talent. Maybe they were right. You have succeeded in making me laugh.
That incident hurt Ann more than it can be explained in words. She continues through life with a deep sense of inability, like a handicap- the feeling that you are not good at anything spectacular. A bruise was created in her heart that would lead to her deepest emotional wounds.
She felt incapable of anything worthwhile. And from this day began her search for approval from whoever was willing to give it.
If people said she had no talent then it had to be true. And if she didn’t have many friends then it had to be that something was wrong with her. And if she didn’t often get the praise of others, she was decided to prove her worth to them.
At this point, she returned her phone
hastily into her bag. No! She would no longer be apologizing to Verynyuy! There was no need.
Why? Because this was her time to shine!
There is such a thing as a solid identity in Christ where one can be whole and satisfied despite the thwarted judgments of others- a place where who God says we are is utmost and unchanging.
What He says we can do is all that matters. It’s a matter of knowing who you are and who you are!
Have you ever, like Ann, battled for the approval of others? Let us know in the comments section : )
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This was Episode six of the series “ANN”. The next episode drops tomorrow, use the form below to stay up to date!
You Were Reading: “Ann’s Time To Shine” | Ep 6, Season 1